damnoldnight

Thanks for being my one and only ah gong for the entire 18 years of my life, i'm proud and thankful for everything you did for me when i was younger and even now. It was hard for you this few years since granny had left us, but still you lived even more stronger than ever despite everything without her, by your side. I've regretted not staying close by your side when you started to become more ill, and it was almost the same time could granny got ill too. I'm sorry for not being a good and filial granddaughter. If ever time would rewind back, i would want it to be back when i was in my primary 2 year, where you would always be up in the early morning sending me to school and always had that little small waffle in the plastic bag on your hands, waiting for me to end school at the canteen, then hand over the waffle to me because you know i was hungry by then. But we got apart when we moved back to my new home, however we would still head back and had dinner with you and granny. I remembered when you were hospitalized due to surgery for cancer, and i had to head down after my training to take care of you since everyone was busy. And the moment i got there, i had no clue on what to do, you were so different and i got a little scared. It was because of the after-effects of the surgery that you became so different. Kept passing money around and i did not know what to do. Then i broke down and cried because i couldn't understand what you were talking since you were speaking in teochew. I'm sorry ahgong, i wasn't there for you when you needed me. Then, you got more lonely because everyone was too busy with work and studies. We didn't have time to visit you often and you got more sick. Who knew that the cancer cells had already spread to other areas even your lungs, causing you to become more weak and sick. But you managed to keep it strong.. Then it was after 5 years of fighting against cancer, that you could no longer endure the pain and lost the battle to cancer. I'm so proud of you because you're so braved and also fought hard throughout everything despite the pain. You will always be remembered deep in our heart. We love you always and forever, Grandpa. Rest in peace because now God will be the one taking care of you and you're no longer alone. <3

And after everything, i got to know so much more about Ahgong. His history for his whole life, how much he devoted his life to his charity club, how much respect he'd gotten even after his death.  His nobleness for everything, for his charity and also his family. I'm proud of being his granddaughter even though i wasn't a good one. 

P.S Thanks to the special ones who were there for me when i was at my lowest. Appreciated and grateful for all of that <3